The Message That Changed It All

Back in September of 2019, I made the decision on a whim to join the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Team in Training Program to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. Check out the full story behind that here. At the time, I didn’t even know what country Kilimanjaro was in. True story. But I had lost a friend nearly eight years prior to leukemia and I felt drawn to the challenge, the opportunity, and the adventure, so I decided to dive in head first as I often do.

As many of you know, I have been on this journey to the summit for eleven months now and I have been loving every minute of it! Life is meant to be full of adventures and experiences and this one my friends, this one has been EPIC!

Thanks to YOU, I have already raised nearly $23,000.00 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) and every day, that number grows. I have been so overwhelmed with gratitude from the love, support, and guidance that is all around me from family, friends, acquaintances, and in some cases, strangers who I am now forever connected to thanks to this journey. How amazing it feels to know that so many exceptional people, like you, are cheering me on, pushing me forward, and helping me to get to the summit! Being given the opportunity to give back to LLS and to climb one of the Seven Summits in honor of my friend Harry and being given the opportunity to carry your loved ones with me on this 45 mile journey to the top thanks to the Flag of Honor are two things that I will be forever grateful for. This entire journey has been and will continue to be life changing.

The funny thing about this life we get to live though is that inevitably, it throws us curve balls along the way. When the Universe sends us a curve ball, we have the power to decide how we will respond. We have the power to decide if we will throw in the towel or if we will learn, adjust, and keep moving forward. On the afternoon of Sunday, July 26th, I made the choice to learn, adjust, and keep moving forward after life threw me one of the biggest curve balls yet.

I began training for this climb almost immediately after signing up with LLS last Fall. I had already been hiking in the White Mountains of New Hampshire regularly, running and biking at least four to five times a week, and doing some strength training and yoga as well, so I felt confident in my physical ability to summit Kilimanjaro if I could just continue doing what I was doing. I planned to add in my weighted pack for my climbs and increase my distance in the months that followed to ensure my body was in the best shape it could be when the time came to climb Kilimanjaro. For the most part, I have successfully carried out that training plan and I can say with confidence that if I were leaving today, I absolutely feel ready to lace up my hiking boots, strap on my pack, and begin the 45 mile journey to the top.

Over the past couple of months, there have been a lot of moving parts with this climb and some big changes have occurred. Some I have shared with others, with you, and some I have not yet shared until now. As parts moved and changes occurred, I gladly adjusted and continued to move forward. There was never a time that my gut feeling, my inner voice, made me stop or hesitate or doubt my decision to continue on despite the pandemic we are living through and the “noise” all around me…until Sunday, July 26th.

In the weeks leading up to that Sunday, I had first learned that the entire group I was to summit with through LLS had deferred their trip until February of 2021. This left me, myself, and I to climb as originally planned in October. The amazing team at Embark Exploration Company and I decided that was less than ideal and so we adjusted and I decided to push my climb up to late September where I could join a different LLS group to summit. I felt excited to be able to still go this year!

Just a week or two after joining the September LLS group, I was informed that that entire group of climbers had also decided to defer their trip until February of 2021. People were dropping like flies all around me, but I was still steadfast in my decision to make the journey and summit this Fall. There was zero hesitation in my bones. I was not getting any inner guidance to drive me away from Kilimanjaro this year. And you know by now, I love getting quiet and listening for that inner voice.

Yes, I am aware, as mentioned previously, that we are in the midst of a pandemic. I am aware that traveling to a foreign country right now is ill advised. I am aware that almost everyone around me thinks I am crazy for wanting to still make this trip. I am aware, as evidenced by the two different groups of climbers that deferred, that I am the outlier and that most people would not choose to go right now. But I am also very aware of my inner voice, my gut feelings, my intuition. I am very aware that every ounce of me said “GO…YOU WILL BE OK.” I am very aware that I thrive off of a challenge and an adventure. I am very aware that I love to live life to the fullest and take the calculated risk because, as I have said before, it will either pay off big or make for an amazing growth opportunity and an even better story.

My friends at Embark informed me that the only other opportunity for me to climb this year would be to join a private group of four friends that were coming from Seattle. Their dates lined up with the September LLS dates that I had already adjusted and now planned for. This group would not be summiting via the Lemosho route which was the route the LLS groups were due to travel. They had instead chosen to take the Lemosho route and then veer off a few days into the climb and summit via the Western Breach, one of the most difficult and dangerous routes to the top. However, with any risk comes reward, and this route, while it comes with potential difficulty, offers unmatched views and experiences along the way. After a discussion with one of my contacts about my experience and physical capabilities, I was all in. If the private group of four would have me, I would join them and summit on the new route. Again, I would adjust without hesitation. Nothing in my bones told me to do otherwise. I was up for the challenge and I could envision myself at the top. It felt right…and my God, imagine the stories!

I got word back just a day or two later that I had the green light to join the group. To this day, I don’t know who those four individuals are, but I am grateful that they were open to have me crash their party and join in on their adventure.

I told only a handful of people closest to me, including my parents. When I shared the news of the new route, let’s just say they agreed with most people around me that I was fucking insane. They said things like, “you have two children to think about!” and “Jesus Christ, just go climb Mount Washington!”, and “No! You can’t do this! Just wait!” And I told them that while I could understand their position as my parents, I am an adult and I would be making the trip. Before our phone call ended, I informed them that if at any time before I sat my ass in the seat of the plane to travel to Tanzania my gut feeling went south or a red flag popped up or a sign was shown to me that made me stop and hesitate, I would not be going and I would defer until February. Outside of that, I would be taking off for Tanzania on September 23rd with stars in my eyes, love in my heart, and a lot of grit and persistence in my soul.

Four days later, on Sunday, July 26th, exactly one month ago, I had finished work for the day and I started thinking about a chair I had posted for sale via FaceBook marketplace. I had posted the chair for sale a few weeks prior and for whatever reason on that day I thought to myself, what if people are messaging me on FaceBook that I am not friends with and their messages are being sent to that junk folder out in space that nobody ever checks. And so I started digging and trying to remember how to get to that folder. And I found it. And I opened it. And there was one message. It had been sent to me over a month prior, on June 13th. The message read as follows…

“Hey Heather! My name is *** and I grew up in Amherst, but have lived in Tanzania for the past 18 months. Great to hear about your upcoming trip to climb Kili. I just wanted to make sure you were up to speed on the situation here with COVID. Since the start of the pandemic, the government here has been in near complete denial about the situation, has stopped all testing, and overwhelmingly people are taking no precautions. To date, there is no reliable count on cases, deaths, etc.  The government reports they are corona-free, only because there is no testing. Reports from the hospitals are that people are dying daily in Mwanza, Arusha, Dar, Moshi (where you go for Kili). Of course tourism is taking a big hit, so any business planning safaris or guided climbs are incredibly eager to book anyone who is willing to still come. I just wanted to make sure you were aware of this, given that the information is unavailable for Tanzania, but I've been in contact with several doctors working in major hospitals here and heard plenty of stories of people in my community dying of the virus. I respect your freedom to make your choice, and know that you’re doing a great thing. I just wanted to make sure you had all the information you can before you decide to come over to Tanzania.”

The minute I opened the message, I knew. The minute I opened the message, my inner voice said “Listen”. The minute I opened the message, my gut feeling changed to “defer”.

Now, please understand that the information shared with me in the message was not new information to me. Embark Exploration Company had gathered us on a few occasions leading up to this moment to share updates on the status of Tanzania and the fact that the information being shared by the government there was not accurate. They did this of course in an effort to provide full disclosure, as best anyone could considering the circumstances, to enable us to make our own decision about climbing or deferring. But when you “happen to find” a message buried in your junk FaceBook inbox that it took you 15 minutes to figure out how to find in the first place and it is from someone who saw your post on your town page because he is from the same town as you and now happens to be living in the country you are due to travel to in two months and has decided to send you an unprompted, unsolicited message to share information about the current state of affairs, you STOP. You PAY ATTENTION. You LISTEN to your inner voice…and mine said “No. Defer your climb until February.” And so that was that.

In this life, there are no accidents. There are no “happened to find” moments. There are no coincidences. The Universe does its best to guide us along the way, to help us navigate the curve balls life throws us, to help us find our way to the next right decision. Sometimes, we don’t listen. Sometimes, we don't tune in to that inner voice. Sometimes, we trudge on, head down, choosing to be oblivious to the signs around us. And sometimes, often, when we do THAT, things don’t turn out so well. What are the chances that on that day, on Sunday, July 26th, I stumble upon this message, just one day before I was planning to make all of my final arrangements for this trip, just one day before I was planning to purchase my plane ticket? THAT is the Universe in all her glory. She stepped right in front of my face and said “Hello. Please STOP”, urging me to listen, urging me to adjust.

And so my friends, I am here today to share with you all that I have deferred my climb until February. I WILL begin my climb on February 15th of 2021, summit Kilimanjaro on February 21st, and complete this journey on February 22nd. I will then depart on a three day safari to continue the adventure and to continue to immerse myself in the most beautiful thing of all…nature, with all its beauty and with all its miracles. I will travel the 45 miles on the Lemosho route as originally planned and carry my Flag of Honor in my pack the entire way, carrying your loved one with me to the top of the world. I will unveil the Flag at the summit and honor all of the names and messages on it. I will give thanks to each and every one of you that has supported my by donating, helping me organize an event, reaching out with an inspirational message, sponsoring my upcoming Night Of Comedy event, and more. I will look up at the sky and all around me in wonder and blow a kiss in the wind to my friend Harry. I will be reminded why I chose to begin this journey back in September of 2019. I will be reminded that I am resilient and strong. That when life throws me a curve ball, I choose to learn, adjust, and keep moving forward every. damn. time. I can see it all, clear as day, without hesitation, and I can not wait to experience every. single. moment. that is THIS journey to Kilimanjaro…that is this journey we call life.

Thank you to each and every one of YOU for your continued support, for your continued love, and for your positive energy that will, no doubt, push me to the top. And remember, when life throws YOU a curve ball, you have a choice. Will you choose to throw in the towel OR will you choose to learn, adjust, and keep moving forward in this one amazingly beautiful life we get to live?