Take One More Step Forward
Well, yesterday morning...(or was it the day before? Or just this morning?)...the inevitable happened.
While juggling morning zoom calls for school for one child (where’s the link?), packet work for my other little one (the pencil sharpener is in the drawer!!!), a Zoom training call for me for my new job (what do I do again?), internet going out (really Comcast?!?), juice spilling (not the white pillow!!), snack cabinets getting raided (I need a lock!), crayons getting thrown(what is happening in there?!?), and ALL the things...
💥I BROKE THE FUCK DOWN💥
Yep. You heard it here first.🚨
I felt it coming. 😠
I knew it was gonna happen. 😖
Despite my ability to stay calm and grounded and centered and focus and grateful and all of it, I am only human. There’s one of me and right now, entirely too many “things” that *need* tending to.
I sat on my conference call with complete chaos around me, started tapping my foot aggressively (like if you were next to me you’d think you felt an earthquake below you), and then boom...just like that....flooded with tears...flooded with emotion and flooded with numb all wrapped into one. 😭
Needless to say, I hit mute 😜
I think I unmuted five or six times to say “uh huh” or “ok” or “oh good”, but I’m really not sure because it was like I wasn’t even there...OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. My poor colleague took an hour out to help train me and in all honesty, 50 minutes of it are a blur...minimal if any recall.
I mean, we can’t time these things 🤷🏻♀️
And also, at this point, I’m confident that this scene is familiar to many of you out there.
Am I right? 🙋🏻♀️
The upside of this story is that by the end of my conference call, even though I picked up nothing to do with my job, I had worked through a shit ton of emotion.
You see, in that 50 minute span I took several deep breaths, repeated my mantras, continued to breathe deep, acknowledged the storm I was smack dab in the middle of, hit reset on my mindset, and managed to pull myself out of the Coronavirus vortex from hell.
Thank you Jesus 🙏🏻
Before I stood up from my desk chair, I thought to myself, “I just fell down...HARD...and I somehow got myself back up. I managed to breathe. I hit reset. I’m leaving this shit right here. And now, I’m going to take another step forward in this gift of a day. I’m a fucking WARRIOR!”
Legit. I really did. 😆
And guess what?
You’re a fucking WARRIOR too!🙌🏻
To the Moms and Dads, to the teachers, to the small business owners, to the healthcare workers, to the grocery store employees, to
📣ALL. OF. HUMAN. KIND. 📣
✨You are only human. You are only one. You can not possibly tend to ALL the things that *need* tending to. You will fall down eventually. We all do...and when THAT happens, when the tears fall like a flood and you’re flooded with emotion and numb all wrapped into one, give yourself a minute (or 50), take several deep breaths, acknowledge the shit storm you’re in, hit reset when you’re ready, leave it all behind, and get yourself back up...on your own or with a little help from a friend...and then, take one more step forward in this gift of a day✨