Go Inside

It’s 530 AM as I make the left to begin the climb. My sneakers are laced up tight. I can feel my body waking up and warming up. I can feel that inner voice saying...
YOU CAN DO THIS. LET’S GO. 

It’s been a while since I’ve run the hill ahead, but today I felt the urge to come back to it. I felt the need to push my body. 

As I run on, one foot hitting the pavement and then the other, I do what naturally comes to me after all these years of...I “go inside”. 

It’s this thing I do on runs when I am faced with a giant climb, a hill repeat workout, a speed workout, anything that at the start seems daunting or nearly impossible to do. It is in those situations where I need to go internal, focus, find my strength, push myself, let my inner badass out, and fuel my own fire. 

As I run on this morning I feel my breath getting faster, my heart beating harder against my chest, the sweat dripping down from my hairline to my forehead to my eyes, my arms swinging, my legs getting heavier, my ass burning as the incline grows, my body saying NO, my mind yelling louder YES, my abs getting tighter, my inner badass shining through, and finally the complete and utter joy I feel as I reach the top of the hill and the pavement begins to flatten.

As I begin the downhill, it hits me. I realize I have actually been using this tactic in my daily life almost from the start of quite literally being told to go inside. 

I’ve been using it as a means of finding my inner strength to stay focused, positive, take another step forward, and keep going on this uphill journey because...well, because...
💥THIS. SHIT. IS. HARD.💥

There’s a lot of stuff I miss. 
You feel me? 

First, I REALLY miss human, in the flesh, connection.

I miss the energy I give and get when I’m in a room full of people. I miss meeting up with my girlfriends for dinner. I miss breakfast dates with my crew. I miss laughing until my face and my belly hurt while sharing space with friends and family. I miss hugging. I miss working next to amazing humans at CoWorking House. I miss exchanging smiles with strangers. I miss going to the beach. 

✨I. MISS. IT. ALL.✨

Yet somewhere, early on, through all of THIS, it’s like my body and mind knew it would ultimately wind up feeling like a giant climb...like one of those daunting situations that feels nearly impossible at some point. 

Whether it be journaling, meditating, a fierce workout, immersing myself in nature, sharing my thoughts and feelings with a close friend, or any of the other things I find myself doing, it’s been vital to me during this time to “go inside”, to force my focus, find my strength, push myself, and fuel my own fire. I refuse to allow my inner flame to fade from a roaring inferno to a burning ember that fights to stay lit. 

The top of the hill is in sight. I can’t wait to feel 
pure and utter joy as we reach the top of the hill and the pavement begins to flatten.

Until then...you’ll find me “inside”. ❤️