I am a blue eyed, freckled, sunburnt little girl in my bathing suit running out our front door on a hot, sunshiny day in August of 1984. I feel the rough brick under my feet and then with one happy leap, I am running on the dirt and grass as I make my way to our pool in the back. 

All I hear is the music blasting, voices, and laughter.  
...ALL I hear is “happy”💫

All I sense is joy, fun, and excitement.  
...ALL I sense is “love”💕

It is my 5th birthday and my family has come together for a pool party to celebrate.

My feet hit the warm cement as I enter the pool area. My parents are standing to my right at the corner of the shallow end and as quickly as I spot them, I see her. Right before my wide, excited, just turned 5 year old eyes, there she is. My brand new bike🤩

To say I was excited would clearly be an understatement.

I was SO EXCITED that while adults were deciding if I needed to wear a life vest to test drive this baby, I jumped on and started pedaling. 

LET’S GO!💥

And off I went, pedaling my little heart out, smiling SO BIG, feeling SO PROUD, full of SO MUCH CONFIDENCE. 

As I went to turn the corner at the deep end, my brother yelled something to me...about the music I think... and so naturally I looked left to see him...and I saw him, SO HAPPY...having so much fun in the sunshine, air drumming to the music...and I felt the warm sun on my smiling face...and as my eyes went left, so did my bike, right into the deep end.

Yep. 

I drove my brand new bike WITH training wheels DIRECTLY. INTO. THE. DEEP. END. 😳

No life jacket.🤦🏻‍♀️

I remember being calm. I felt SO calm. I remember sinking, eyes wide open, looking up, through the blue water to the blue sky to the sunshine above and thinking, just go up. 

✨No panic. No fear. One thought...
JUST GO UP.✨

And so I did. I popped up, grabbed the edge, and as I did, someone grabbed me and pulled me out. 

Panic was all around. People were yelling. It seemed like chaos. I didn’t understand. What I had experienced was silence, peace, calm...
(plus, my brothers even dove in and saved my new bike for me😉)

Everyone eventually calmed down and the party went on. It was an AWESOME day in my 5 year old world.😜

It is also my first memory of feeling calm, maintaining a sense of calm in the midst of chaos, and following my instinct. I somehow knew, even as I sank into the deep end, that I was going to pop back up. 

And that is how I feel right now.

With the chaos surrounding us...a global crisis at hand...and our “normal” every day lives being shaken to the core...I somehow feel a sense of calm. I somehow know that we will “pop back up”. I can still see the blue sky and the sunshine in the far off distance on the other side of it all. 

Keep looking up.

Keep holding onto hope.

🦋Be the calm🦋