I wake only once in the middle of the night and am grateful that the toilet tent, “the Bank of America”, is just outside my tent. As I exit the warmth of my sleeping bag and unzip the tent door, I immediately look up to take in the glorious night sky above me, my nightly gift from the Universe. Heaven before my eyes.

Tonight, somehow for the first time, I notice the Big Dipper which is upside down in the night sky of Africa as compared to the sky I am used to back home. At first, it throws me off, but then I make the connection. Almost directly across from it on the opposite end of the sky is the Southern Cross.

When I return back to my tent from the toilet, I start thinking about the last time, the only time, I had seen an upside down Big Dipper and the Southern Cross. It was when I was on exchange in college in Australia. We had gone camping in the rainforest and as we sat on the beach looking up at the dark night sky, I spotted the Big Dipper, looking strange as could be because it was upside down. Then, a friend I was with pointed out the Southern Cross, a constellation I had never seen before that night, and I remember thinking “My God. I’m so far from home that the sky isn’t even the same!”

Looking up at them both again tonight makes me think about how far I have come in this life, how much time has passed, how much has changed. The last time I saw both constellations, I was a different person than I am today, than I am now. The last time I saw them I felt so very far from home, and yet tonight, as I see them like this for only the second time in my life, now at 13,200 feet, overlooking towns lit up below, sitting on the edge of Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, Africa, I feel like I am exactly where I’m meant to be. It feels like I am home.

As I fall back asleep, I feel like I toss and turn for the remainder of the night, but when I’m awoken at 6:30 AM, a half an hour later than usual (such a treat!), strangely I feel well rested. I know that my sleep was full of dreams, but they are now just out of reach and so I let them slip away and begin to focus on the new day ahead.

Every morning that I wake here on the mountain, I feel so grateful and so happy to welcome a brand new day filled with endless possibilities. The rising sun begins to melt away the cold from the evening air and my body, my soul, my bones fill with warmth amd renewed energy. I thank the Universe for feeling well, feeling hungry, feeling strong, and most importantly, the gift of my breath.

From the beginning, from the day we met our guides at our hotel in Moshi before ever leaving for the mountain, they have instructed us to take this entire journey one day at a time. “Do not worry your mind thinking ahead”, Frederik had told us. I have taken that instruction to heart and I am living and breathing their philosophy on this journey. It has proven to help me maintain my mental strength and it is allowing me to truly, for the first time in a long time, be in the moment...one moment at a time. It is allowing me to take every single ounce of this journey in.

When teammates ask mid-day about what’s to come tomorrow, I respond before anyone can answer with “one day at a time”. When someone wants to know how the weather is looking for the next few days or at the summit, I respond with “doesn’t matter guys, it’s today...one day at a time.” By the end of the trip, I’m sure they’re all sick of me doing this, but they catch on that this is what I need to do to protect my brain from getting too far ahead, and they begin to respect it and share that kind of information amongst themselves when I’m not around. This I appreciate so very much.

Before I leave my tent, Wilfred pays me a visit to conduct the morning health check. As we climb in altitude and the days go on, these health checks come with a small amount of stress. I keep thinking...well shit, if my pulse suddenly is 100 all the time and my oxygen saturation falls drastically, what the hell happens then?!? And then I find myself thinking...nope, my body is a miracle...I am resilient...I am strong. Trust the process Heather. And then I take a nice, calm, deep breath and into the pulse oximeter my finger goes.

This morning, I feel happy to see that my pulse is 71 and my oxygen saturation is a strong 90% at this altitude. I am hydrated. My body is working effectively and efficiently. My breath comes easy. For these three things, I am grateful beyond words.

Today, we are hiking from the Barranco Camp at 13,200 feet to the Karanga camp which sits at the same elevation. However, during our hike today we will go up and down, up and down, up and down, from the Moreland to Alpine Desert, the climate zone of the Karanga Camp. Additionally, we will climb the Barranco Wall which I have learned this morning is essentially over 800 feet of steep rock wall. Augustine tells us this will be the first time we willl get to experience our hands touching the true rock of Kilimanjaro, like the rock at the summit, and so when my hands do so, I snap a photo to capture the moment and include the heart rock that I have carried all day on our journey.

I don’t think ahead about how climbing the wall might feel on my lungs or my body because, well, one thing at a time. Staying present in each moment has become an unwritten rule. Instead, I find myself curious to meet this infamous wall for the very first time.

Before we head off for the day, Frederik and Augustine snap pictures of our group at camp joking with us that they are our paparazzi. We all laugh and smile and then, within moments it’s “packs on!” and we are off.

There is water running nearby that I thought I had imagined overnight. In fact, Wilfred shares that it has been our water source at camp. I love hearing this as it reminds me how close we are to nature along this entire journey, relying on her to hydrate our bodies, wash ourselves, and for the food we eat at every meal that must be boiled and cooked.

After we cross the water source, Wilfred, who is leading us today, tells us it’s time to pack up our trekkking poles. We have arrived at the Barranco Wall. It feels oddly strange to close up my poles and pack them away considering we have been using them every single day for the entire hike to date, but it also feels amazing to have two free hands for this short period of time!

I look up at the wall before we begin and I am in awe of its sheer size, beauty, and the incline before me. As I drift into my own world I hear a teammate yell “porter to your left”, and so I move right as one of our porters crosses the water with his pack and another load balanced on his head, hands in his pockets, zen as fuck, and begins to climb the Barranco Wall ahead of us like it’s a piece of cake.

If he can do THIS like THAT, we can do this too!

We begin to climb and almost immediately I fall in love with this wall, with this day, with this plot twist the Universe has gifted us. To date, we have experienced nothing like this wall. We have not had to use our bare hands to pull our bodies up rocks nor have we had to use our legs to push our bodies up in this way. It’s something different. The terrain is raw. My body LOVES the change! I drink up the feeling of dropping my poles and climbing...one bare hand grabbing onto textured rock, followed by one foot placed just so, and then the next hand reaching up as I push off with my foot and go...over and over, up and up, all the way to the top. I feel so comfortable, so excited, so confident, and so present as I pull with my hands and push with my legs, up and up and up the infamous Barranco wall.

At one point as we are climbing, Wilfred informs us that we are at what is called “the kissing rock”. We are to hug this rock as close to our chest as possible as we cross, so close that we could kiss the rock as we maneuver from one end to the other.

“This is fucking awesome!”, I say out loud with a huge smile across my face.

I feel more alive than ever!

It feels like we reach the top of the wall quickly, and when we do, we stop for a short break and follow suit from the group that was ahead of us as we snap pictures of one another on top of the world!

My teammate, Colin, even did a handstand!

At some point during our hike, several of us were sharing what part of our body was tingling. Sounds weird right? Yeah...well the diamox we were all taking to help prevent altitude sickness causes tingles, almost like pins and needles in the body in the strangest of places and so as we shared that our toes were tingling, or our heels, or our chins, or one of our fingers, I decided we needed a name for the diamox tingles...and so the term “the dingles” was born. We also had been experiencing seriously runny noses shortly after taking our diamox which made sense being a diuretic. But talk about annoying!?! And so the sniffles got their own name, “the diffels”.

The dingles and the diffles. Who woulda thunk it?!?! Both became a source of laughter on our journey.

The remainder of our hike after reaching the top of the wall is full of steep ups and steep downs until we can see our camp in the distance. We are about 45 minutes from the Karanga Camp with just one more down followed by a steep uphill climb to bring us home.

As we make our final descent, deep into the valley below, we are surrounded by massive rocks, some covered in a bright red moss and others with a yellowish-green moss hanging off their sides. The yellow-greenish moss reminds me of the ocean. We are surrounded by giant boulders, rock walls, waterfalls, and the Jurassic Park-like trees as far as the eye can see. It feels like we have traveled back to prehistoric times. It all seems surreal. It is fucking awesome!

We rest before our final climb, and then after one final ascent for the day, we arrive at the Karanga Camp just in time for lunch. We are all so happy to have had a shorter hike today and the gift of an afternoon to rest, especially after yesterday’s long day of trekking with many miles covered and also knowing that tomorrow will be a very full day as we prepare to summit.

I stopped counting heart rocks when I hit 90 today. It seems that they are everywhere along this journey and that makes me feel extremely loved. Every heart rock that I spot is like a tiny hidden message just for me, a reminder that I am in fact safe, loved, and oh so guided. In fact, when I close my eyes to rest before lunch, all I can see are hearts.

Before tea and our afternoon snack, I wash my body as best I can using wipes and the warm wash basin. I realize I have been wearing the same black Lululemon pants for five straight days. I hadn’t even planned to bring them, but something told me to throw them in my bag at the last minute and here I am, five days later, so happy that I listened to my intuition. They’re not a traditional hiking pant, in fact they’re called a “dance pant”, but they’re comfortable as all hell, the pant legs roll up to my knees and beyond if needed, and they allow my body to move in every way it needs to during our hike. I am walking proof that you don’t have to spend thousands of dollars on a new wardrobe to summit Mount Kilimanjaro.

When we started the hike, I wore my trusted black pants, my Leukemia & Lymphoma Society tee shirt, and a long sleeve (swapping between my Patagonia mid layer and my REI mid layer) over it. I wore one of my favorite trucker hats, light to mid-weight hiking socks (my favorites being SmartWool) and of course, my broken in, all time favorite Keene hiking boots.

I learned quickly on this adventure that I needed to swap out my trucker hat for a wide brimmed sun hat that Paul had made for me before I left. That man thinks of everything and I am so glad he thought of this! The wide brimmed hat has been key, protecting me from the sun during the day and preventing some serious sun burns I am sure. It is a must have for anyone considering this adventure!

Over the past two days, I have added a base layer underneath my black pants for extra warmth, my trusted black Nike running tights which have worked perfectly to keep me just warm enough. In fact, I’ve come to realize that all of my gear has been exactly what I have needed for this adventure and that layering is key. Fact.

As we ascend into higher elevations and windier areas, I add another layer on top that is my Patagonia sweater. This sweater is hands down the absolute best purchase I have made for life in general, but especially for this trip. I not only wear it as a top layer for warmth and comfort, I also wear it to bed nearly every night with a pair of Athleta fleece leggings and fresh, clean, warm socks. Heaven!

I carry in my day pack my rain gear, a light fleece jacket, warm gloves, a snow hat, and my down puffy coat because the weather changes quickly on the mountain and it’s important to always be prepared. My fleece doubles as my pillow at night.

I digress...

As we gather in the mess tent for tea and popcorn before dinner time, we are all feeling eager because today is the day that we will decide as a group on the tips we will give to our guides and our crew as a whole. We have thirty exceptional humans, angels on earth really, supporting us every step of the way and I honestly want to give them all everything I have. Without them, I wouldn’t be here. Without them, none of us would reach the summit. Without them, we would most likely be dead on the mountain.

Before we get started, our guides and a small group of porters visits us in the mess tent to give us the tip envelopes along with a full list of crew members and their positions, ranked in order. Guides were first, followed by cooks, waiters, camping man, toilet man, and then the porters. Each crew member has his own envelope with his name and position written on the front. As a team, we are to divvy out our funds to each crew member and then write on the front of the envelope the amount we are tipping to that particular person. We will present these envelopes at the celebratory lunch that we will get to experience on our final day together after we have descended the mountain and completed our journey. The envelopes will not have cash inside at that time. Instead, after presenting them to each crew member so that they know what they have earned, we will once again collect the envelopes, ring them back to our hotel, divvy our cash out accordingly to each envelope, and then Freddie, our eyes and ears on the ground, will collect them and distribute the actual cash to each crew member. There is cultural significance behind this process. Additionally, it isn’t a good idea to carry loads of cash with you on the mountain and this process allows you to avoid doing that.

Before leaving us to do our work, our guides and porters treat us to a special entertainment session full of traditional songs and some dancing. I am beaming with joy getting to experience this and their happiness bleeds through to each and every one of us in those moments. I didn’t think today could possibly get better than my experience climbing the Barranco Wall, until it did. I will never forget that afternoon in the mess tent as long as I live.

We decide as a group that we will give more than what was suggested by our tour company, Embark Exploration Co. We want to do this because our crew is absolutely exceptional. Without them we would not be here experiencing any of this. We had learned along the way that one of our head guides, Wilfred, left behind a three month old son at home to be here for us. One of our porters had missed the birth of his son just two days prior because he was here on the mountain supporting our team. Lastly, these angels on earth have been out of work for months due to Covid and we wanted to be sure they were taken care of.

After a simple discussion as a team, we all agreed to increase the total suggested amount by about 35%. It felt so good to be able to do this for our crew as a small gesture of thanks and appreciation.

There were only about thirty minutes before dinner once we finished our work, so I decided to just hang in the mess tent and enjoy some more warm tea and the warmth.

Frederik arrived earlier than usual to conduct our evening health checks. I was feeling fantastic and found that my pulse was 81 and my oxygen saturation was at 91%. I could rest easy after filling my belly with another amazing meal on the mountain.

Tomorrow is a big day as we will hike to base camp at 15,200 feet where we will have lunch, rest, have dinner, rest again, and then be awoken close to midnight to depart for the summit. But right now, I am busy staying present in this moment, this evening, and this experience as a whole. What a gift it is!

Lala salama.