It’s barely 7 AM, the house still filled with a chill from the cold night, as I hold my little love tight and fight back tears that will inevitably come. It’s the morning of the day I depart for Tanzania and my son is breaking down. Through his tiny, quivering lips, he tells me he doesn’t know what’s wrong, but I know without him saying the words. He is anxious and sad and all kinds of emotional that Mommy is leaving.

“…It’s OK baby. I am going to miss you so much too. But I’m going to come back…and when I do, I already can’t wait to give you a giant energy hug…”

Energy hugs are a thing he made up where you hug someone super tight to give them good energy when they need it most.

He smiled, just barely…but I could tell that whatever I was saying was exactly what he needed to hear.

Maybe I needed to hear it too.

It’s a funny thing isn’t it? How we can think something over and over, but when we finally say it out loud, it takes on a whole new life. It becomes real. And holy shit…this moment was so real. It was so raw. And it was exactly the moment we both needed to share…together.

And so I hugged him again, gave him a kiss on his forehead, and told him again it was all going to be OK. That I would miss him too, but I would come back.

Meanwhile, in the living room, my daughter was in her own little moment, happy as could be in her PJ’s, watching cartoons, and playing with her newest Barbie. Gotta love kids!

When I signed up for this adventure…this journey that is Kilimanjaro…I guess it didn’t seem very real…the part about leaving my two little loves behind for two entire weeks. Until it did. Until THAT moment….my son and I cuddled up tight, the world around us non existent.

As I sit here at Logan waiting for my flight to depart, I feel calm. I feel excited I feel ready to fly high. But most of all, I feel hope-FULL.

I hope that I remain open, that I learn, and that I grow. I know I will not return unchanged.

I hope for new and meaningful connections.

I hope for safety and good health for myself and all those that will be traveling and climbing with me.

I hope to spread love and joy.

But mostly, I hope my two little loves are so proud of their Mommy. I hope that they always know that they too can do anything… if they just believe.

Wheels up. Here we go…